New walls and a puzzled heart.

She stood at the entrance gazing at the ceiling and taking everything in. Huge carton boxes almost of her height, fresh paint turning her clothes all white. Carrying a heavy heart, she peeped in every room and then finally found the courage to enter those four walls, she was supposed to call her room. New, naked walls and sunshine invading the space, trying best to cheer her up made her smile.

For her, those walls that she always saw were not just meant to give privacy or to complete a room instead, they were a canvas for her little fingers whenever she wore her artist hat and was at her best. She danced her way up to a childhood filled with combs getting stuck in the hair, pouty faces, too many bruises, dialing unknown numbers, making ladoos with mud, and cooking up all sorts of stories! Those walls witnessed it all! Her ups, her downs yet never judged. Those walls taught her what a home really means. It is true, a house becomes a home by people living in it but, a home is where the heart is. And her heart lied in those walls who saw her stumbling and struggling to walk, taking baby steps, graphs acting like an ECG! Riding a bicycle, leaving for the hostel, writing her first post and most importantly something that even she didn’t want to see in herself, all her negatives! And yet it never felt anything less than a home!

Those walls heard everything, a baby’s first cry, a teenager cribbing about everything, not so melodious songs in the shower, late night weeping, a girl having polite to harsh self-talks and poetry straight from the heart. And gave her ears to listen to her voice.

She lost herself and found herself there. Those walls were so much more than concrete; a pandora box full of memories, secrets, truth and beliefs. They saw what people sometimes missed, her genuine smile, those glistening eyes, her ‘I’m okay’ mantra, and her very real and raw side.

Those walls weren’t just walls, they were her home. A home where her heart lied.

And now these walls. New walls, new beginnings!  It was such a weird time to choose sides, whether to mourn what she left behind or to be excited for what she will get. Entered a new space with a bag full of expectations and a teeny tiny fear, will she be able to call these walls her home? Will she ever get used to them? Will she lose herself or will she make a new discovery? Too many questions that can’t be answered for now. But then she realized, those were walls and these are too. She didn’t know what a home was, but they taught her and hopefully the legacy will be carried forward!

In this movie, Time bagged the lead role! All set to play a superhero. It has to fill a void. It has to replace something that was built in 20 years. It has to prove the world famous saying, ‘Whatever happens, happens for the good’. And above all, it has to let a girl believe that she will find a place that she can call home. Huge responsibility on the shoulders!

She spent sleepless nights in ‘her room’ but she knew that soon she’ll get comfortable, she always does. Though, her small visits from the hostel made her get used to the feeling but somehow this time it was different, this time it was permanent.  This time she knew when she’ll be back, she won’t get the same feeling of coming back to home. It will take time and she was okay with it, she told herself that she will embrace it in the best way possible. And maybe that is how, in a minor way, she got the feeling that she’ll grow here too and she will start calling this place a home too. It was obvious that those walls are irreplaceable and she doesn’t even want to replace those walls with these. Those walls had their own charm and these have their own, she just needs to discover it. Why to replace? Instead accept them the way they are. The way we do with people. They keep on entering and leaving, we can’t expect them to fill somebody else’s shoes instead we make space for new ones by accepting them the way they are. Maybe that’s how it works with new places too…..

Thank you.

Keep shining and smiling! 🙂

9 thoughts on “New walls and a puzzled heart.

  1. So relatable and well written ☺️
    I know you r going to cross many more wall like this 🤗
    Lot’s of love to you dear ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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